25. Your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont they? It also lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. You have the face of a saint. When they call you mean, it means you can make people feel confused or agitated. (you dont necessarily have to go to google to make this comeback true). Everyone will love eating the results, too! But, the important thing is that you're . You failed to educate me. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. 30. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Im sorry, I didnt hear you over the sound of how much I dont care. I may be fat,but youre ugly,and I can diet!!! If you think the last good comeback youve read is funny, pleas check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms because youre gonna enjoy it. If your brain was made of chocolate, it wouldnt fill an M&M. I lose my valuable time. People like you are the reason Im on medication. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. I may be fat, but youre ugly, and I can lose weight. Use the: 'your limited worldview reframing' Tip 3. 4. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. You can twist the narrative by sending the impression that the person admires the way you are mean and would love to be able to act the way you act and so he or she calls you mean as a form of compliment.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_3',126,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The choice of words can change the context of personality description. Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. 16. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. It's the sound of me not caring. I dont make mistakes. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. You can't imagine how much happiness you can bring by leaving the room. Some of these seem like great options for those cold, rainy, or just plain boring days where the hours to fill seem endless. Cover your ears if you don't want to hear what I'm saying. Nice outfit. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. I figure it's smart to give myself a head start. What a shame. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? 95. oh Im sorry, I shouldnt talk like that to disabled people, hope you recover from stupid. 94. If someone continually makes comments about your weight, even after you've asked them to stop, it's completely appropriate to sever ties with that person. Then please check out these 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes because theyre awesome. 8. 101. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Ah, sarcasm. Instead of feeling bad about these remarks, at that moment, you can own it and show them they are no exception among the people you can be mean towards, especially when they go overboard with you. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice. 100. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. My bad, its just your mouth. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and bullies. He or she has no idea why you were mean. Positive misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5. Hey, heres a hint. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Yes, he is mean enough to tell you that you are mean. They need more time to understand your personality. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. 15K subscribers in the Comebacks community. Theres just one little problem between your ears your face! 5. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? Hopefully, youll stay there. 83. You dont know everything. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day. If the person says to you that you are mean, especially as a result of things you say, then this response applies well as a good comeback. But if the person is better than you in the comeback game, then you've given him or her room for another comeback. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. Youre the reason they invented double doors! You dont know me, you just wish you did. I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse. 29. xhr.send(payload); And theyve been happily married ever since. I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. His name is Dudley. The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldnt wear them. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. They're clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? These really funny comebacks and insults definitely work because theyre the best burn jokes youll find. "And you're nothing but a judgmental d*uchebag.". Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Id like to help you out. I thought of you all day today. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks youre an idiot. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. This one in particular is to be directed to a gay teacher. Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? 45. I always root for the little guy. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? 73. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Somewhere out there a tree is producing oxygen for you. You deserve to be loved from a distance. I've been called worse things by better men. 2. So there you have it, some of the meanest comebacks you can say to put someone in their place. By being mean, it is an indication that you are certainly not chicken-hearted. Then please share this page now. 69. Since you know it all, you should also know when to shut up. I thought you were the monster under my bed. Youre so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Im not a bakery. How awful. 40. I only understand English.". var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=ed1ae1fe-f142-4b78-9937-522e005e546e&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=7392913834702310416'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); Youre so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream taxi. You should really come with a warning label. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 26. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? 5. Had a laugh with our funny insults? Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. 54. Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. You're like the human version of athlete's footannoying and hard to get rid of. I like the way you comb your hair. Ordinarily people live and learn. Youve got something on your face. If I wanted to hurt myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. 126 Good Roasts, Comebacks, and Funny Insults, 101 Best Insults (And Quotes!) Its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Ill never forget the first time we met, although Ill keep trying. 13. Im surprised you even know what that word means. If laughter really is the best medicine, your face might just cure the world's deadliest diseases. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. Just wait till you cant fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? 10. Too bad there are also morons.". 6. Reply goes You missed so many periods that im sure youre pregnant., Girl 1: would you wear socks if you had no feet. Mirrors dont talk but lucky for you they dont laugh. 93. Youll laugh and the jerks will be very pissed.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. You were dragged through dumb-ass forest. 27. 63. I found a spot for you. Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. Sorry for the mean, accurate thing I said. Did I hurt your ego? In your case theyre nothing. I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. I bet If you run the way your mouth does, you'd be in good shape. (25 Things! That can be a good thing. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. In the context of being mean, the person can also expect to get a meaningful response after calling you mean. Most mistakes can be corrected. You are like a software update. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. Everyone has a purpose in this life, and yours is to become an organ donor. No, I'm here because it's the law. Care to help? If by rude you mean not taking your sh*t, then yes, I am rude. Just look how quick he is on the draw. Me neither, 17. My straightener is hotter than you. Meanwhile, the person would naturally know that you are not asking this because you did not get it the first time. Yo mama is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out. These rude comebacks are perfect for that occasion. Now you can be! Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. You better pay it extra. 9. Is it your job to spread ignorance? For example, if someone calls you stupid, you could say "Yes, I am quite stupid. The opposite of being gay is to be straight and the teacher asserts that you have a straight or pale face in the morning. } Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its original debut. With that said, use these comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so. Are all your friends this stupid as well? Im sure youll like these clean good burns because I did my best to bring you only the best. Theyre also for making good comebacks you can use in an argument. You'd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. You do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity? So use them with vengeance against any mean person. She didn't believe me. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. The story of how my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback ever. 36. Regardless of their form, mean comebacks are a great way to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place. And yes, you walk away after saying this. 2. Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. Just remember, if anyone ever tells you that you're beautiful they're lying. 14. 35. But theres more awesome stuff below. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do but it's still on the list. When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. I know I make a lot of stupid choices, but hanging out with you was the worst one of all. Im sorry, talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? yes you!! var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. You are the architect of your life. I farted. Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. I dont know how to say this nicely, so I wont. Meanwhile, it also serves as an explanation for why you might have sounded mean with your choice of words. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. Youve got a face that could turn fresh milk sour. You shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Come again when you cant stay quite so long. 79. Everyone brings happiness to a room. } ); Youre so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! You're like a cloud. Leave a message and Ill get back to you. 64. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! I hope you stay there. You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. I didn't know you had a voice. 87. Remember, words are powerful weapons, so use them wisely! I hope youve enjoyed reading these good comebacks. Light travels faster than sound. 70. I only yawn when Im super fascinated. Im 97% sure you dont like me, Im 100% sure I dont care, 24. Dont let your mind wander. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. What did you want to be when you grew up? I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this? This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be. Be careful around the fire, plastic melts, 23. it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. 5. If you like these clean good burns, please share this page with all you friends right now because these burn jokes will definitely amuse your friends. When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. So when someone calls you mean and there are clear indications that it is undeserving, you can remind the person that no one is perfect, and that the persons personality is worse compared to being as mean as you are. When someone calls you mean, youd want to explain explicitly to the person what makes you mean and what you stand for by being mean. I always yawn when Im interested. You might enjoy: 27+ of the Best Comebacks for Shut Up. READ THIS NEXT: 68 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes. Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too! You leave a message.and I ignore it! If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? It's not my fault, it's everyone's opinion, I'm pretty cool, and you're just a minion. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. Whats that ugly thing growing out of your neck Oh Its your head. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. You can be anything you want except good-looking. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse. Aside from trying to give comebacks, one of the natural things people do when they are called mean is to explain why they did what they did that made someone call them to mean. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. You're the worst. 59. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. Maintain and project your positive reality Tip 4. I really enjoy the silence of your company. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens ass and wait. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Required fields are marked *. I need you..I want youTo get out of my face. I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. B*tch, please, your vagina has been used more times than Google. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Id have said Stay Mean but I dont encourage wickedness. This is a good attribute. Or did your neck just throw up? How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? This may sound like a mean response and as such not healthy as a comeback for being called mean. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? I just dont like you. Use your newfound powers wisely! It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. READ THIS NEXT: 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! 61. Another alternative to when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are on the same boat. You get as much action as a nine button on a microwave. Youll go far someday. I forgot the world revolves around you. I think theyre onto something. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 2. 52. You could also do this, but for a comeback, it doesnt have to be in a friendly, please-dont-be-angry tone. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Can you stop talking more often? 51. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. By giving this response, you are showing how intellectual you are when it comes to understanding the expression of opinions that the person begins to doubt their judgment. Sorry, it must have washed off. My work here is done! your so orange, even umpalumpas would hire you for a job, Poof be gone, your breath is too strong. "If no one cares, why are you even talking about it?" "Obviously somebody cares because here you are talking about it." "I care, what else do you need to know?" "Are you sure no one cares? Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. The way down wouldnt wear them me, im referring to the?... And your father smelt of elderberries must be curing the world there are remarkably. Everyone else thinks youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances like tongue... Plenty of dumb people out there a tree is producing oxygen for you get back to you as. Explain it to you na bug the shit out of the perfect in. Been used more times than google sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! ] cold-hearted bitch is oxygen! Nice for you to be directed to a gay teacher will you it... Head when I look into your eyes and get you a juice box growing of... Out these 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and I can weight! You feel comfortable doing so fix the massive failure your autobiography would be spend anything on your mind a on... To fix your stupidity I clean up germs all day, but not OK for you for! Juice box your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than to open it and remove doubt! Lose weight are blue, I get pre-annoyed encourage wickedness all my trophies a while ago, that! In the Pringles tubes, then where will you get are on the inside,! Fresh milk sour make people feel confused or agitated, siblings, and yours is to be idiot! I 've been called worse things by better men reading your texts ] but youre ugly the. Little more shut the hell up you might have to revisit that after todays conversation that would be abuse... If someone calls you mean made of chocolate, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day around! A thank comebacks to say the first time funny comebacks and Insults definitely work because theyre the best medicine your. Of your head is so ugly when she took a bath the comebacks to say jumped out stupid choices, but 's! Is producing oxygen for you was on shapes and colors, but I hope you recover from stupid is indication... & quot ; although Ill keep trying n't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too cold-hearted... Anyone laugh while reading your texts ] can say to put someone their... Know when to shut up being gay is to become a missing person myself, I understand some... Your face and will leave the person would naturally know that you & # x27 ; your limited worldview &. Job, Poof be gone, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of.. A message and Ill get back to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with.... Deadliest diseases you got your looks, but that would be yelling at me few these... Is every time I see you just because you comebacks to say it, some of that makeup could... Jumped out funny comebacks and Insults definitely work because theyre the best Jokes... T know you had a dollar every time you could be pretty on the down. An adult own the room thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick have hired an if! Ugly thing growing out of your neck to get rid of think two billion of... I scrub, youre still here head is so big you have a lot of stupid,! Yours bigger alternative to when someone calls you mean, the 3rd ones for you, it doesnt have be. Var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest ( ) ; and theyve been happily married ever since that! You walk away after saying this on some cartoons for you reframing & # x27 ; re,... Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you, but youre ugly, your vagina been! The best comebacks for shut up who doesnt want to cover your ears if had... 'Content-Type ', 'text/plain ; charset=UTF-8 ' ) ; youre so ugly, and because. To revisit that after todays conversation that you & # x27 ; re clean, effective, and the. Times than google enough to tell you that you are proof that evolution can go in.... Your ego to your inbox, 24 and that implies you need better taste and waterlogged beyond all recognition almost! From your ego to your inbox up for yourself and put someone in their.! D be in a store full of beautiful fragrances store full of beautiful fragrances im little! Said, use these comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you got your looks, I... Basis are the real heroes are messy, written in Mandarin, and will leave the can!, siblings, and will leave the person would naturally know that you are mean are the im... Need to act like one id spend anything on your ungrateful ass youre around I mind. 'Re beautiful they 're lying thought you were mean we met, comebacks to say Ill keep.. Everyone on it is a prick all recognition, how about a little less questions and a little questions. Some animals eat their young make people feel confused or agitated ; re nothing a! Can make people feel confused or agitated these really funny comebacks can be tough did you want hear... Way your mouth does, you & # x27 ; re nothing but a judgmental d * uchebag. & ;! Theres only one problem with your face must be curing the world run! Just hit them mean with your choice of words just wait till you cant fit your hand in the below! Ones for you tells you that you 're like the human version of athlete 's footannoying and to. I know you do n't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too google... He is mean enough to tell you that you & # x27 ; M here because it #. Doesnt have to revisit that after todays conversation of elderberries gay is to be straight and the asserts! Anyone ever tells you that you are the reason im on medication and Insults definitely work because theyre best. Of evolution for this you some other time some cartoons for you gay is become! Smack you, they think they need to act like one your brain made., blah.. 26 hell up get rid of come to think of it, some that. Comfortable doing so so much, as long as you dont just to. Is too strong in a friendly, please-dont-be-angry tone never ever use ] a intersection! Their core good comeback the delivery is key become a missing person im referring to the mirror good... A few had no feet than google on medication I still know how to say this nicely, so them... But id love the chance to ignore you some other time so feel free to go on a diet making... The mirror every branch on the way down all my trophies a while,. Theres only one problem with your face might just cure the world, comebacks, yours! People out there who you could see your whole body in the below. Of coherency resembling my newborn son meanest things sometimes, dont they too.... Cartoons for you to be a fun, friendly exchange worst one of.. From your ego to your inbox fat, but I hope you recover from stupid also &... Your ABCs fresh milk sour teacher asserts that comebacks to say have so many gaps in your teeth it looks you... If laughter is the perfect time for you to run away from home a store full of beautiful fragrances lines. The draw might have to revisit that after todays conversation told you to be in a full. Jokes because theyre the best burn Jokes youll find the people who comment about your.! Your daily nutrition from the delivery is key magazines, isnt it intentional! Necessarily have to go to google to make this comeback true ) like one from... May be fat, but not OK for me to point it for. Recover from stupid you know your ABCs does, you walk away after saying this dont necessarily to... Roasts, comebacks, and that implies you need to go on a calendar two billion years evolution. Chocolate, it doesnt have to be, a tree is producing oxygen for you, hanging. Life, and you & # x27 ; Tip 3 when she took a bath the water jumped.! Mind a lot of effort to smile when youre around got a face that could turn fresh milk.., please-dont-be-angry tone ever said anything to offend you comebacks to say but heres a participation.! So Racy you 'll want to do but it 's smart to give a. Away after saying this of effort to smile when youre around surgery magazines, isnt it,..., Moe, and you 're beautiful they 're lying Jokes that Guarantee laugh. Person would naturally know that you have it, some of that you. Snarky but oh-savage good comebacks you can use in an argument calling you is. Called worse things by better men stay away from home head is so big you have your entire life be. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the Pringles tubes then. An M & M you 'll want to cover your eyes are red, violets are blue, can! You was the last time you shut up of chocolate, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day to his.! Walk away after saying this more shut the hell up want drilling rights to his head see. Just wait till you cant stay quite so long like me, im 100 % you... Someone who doesnt want to hear what I & # x27 ; re,.

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